FAQs

These FAQs are designed to help you decide whether these walks are for you. Most of the questions answered are applicable to out-of-town walks–that’s how FTB started out. When you submit a booking you will also be required to certify on behalf of yourself and anyone else for whom you are booking that you accept the release of liability and assumption of all risk.

Questions

Choosing the walk

Am I fit enough?

Walks labelled “easy” should present you with no problems if you can walk 10 miles without difficulty. If you’ve got any doubts about the suitability of a walk, please ask us in advance and we’ll make every effort to ensure that you make the right choice. (Note that the release of liability and assumption of all risk requires you to certify that you take all responsibility for your physical condition, and allows us to stop you going on a walk if we think you won’t make it. Fortunately we’ve only had to do this once.) (top)

Can I bring my pitbull?

We generally don’t take along pets, but feel free to ask. (top)

Can I bring my toddlers?

By age 14 or 15, most folks can cope with my easier walks. We’ve got a secret stash of routes suitable for younger people, so do ask. (top)

Can we do the walk the other way round?

Yes, transport and other considerations permitting. I’ve just chosen the direction that I think’s best re views etc. (top)

Can we take our clothes off?

This is the only listed route I’d recommend. We don’t meet many other people on most routes, but if I get it wrong once then bars won’t serve us next time and the local police may bother us. On customised trips to the Pyrenees, suitable routes can be devised. (See also will you marry me?) (top)

How many people in a group?

I’m sure you all know the old joke about the Kuwaiti minister of defence, who could count to 10 in the winter and to 20 in the summer. We don’t wear sandals, and we don’t generally travel with groups into double figures. There is no minimum. (top)

Isn’t it too hot to go walking in the Mediterranean in the summer?

See this blog post. (top)

What if I can’t find the walk I’m looking for?

Use either my route catalogue to find something suitable or just tell us what you’re looking for, when. (top)

What if I haven’t got my boots with me?

There are various walks that you can do with a decent pair of shoes. Tell us when you submit the form and we’ll try to find something suitable. (top)

What kind of people do you normally get?

Clients are generally reasonably well-educated and well-off and in reasonable health. The age range so far is 2-72, with the bulk being late 20s to early 50s. Most are English native speakers, but we’ve also had the odd Uzbek and enjoy the variety this kind of work brings. (top)

Have you got a walk i can do in a wheelchair/with a pushchair?

If you’re pretty strong and reasonably ambitious, you’ll find that this one works well. Tweaked to avoid bits that are overly rough or steep, the paths are wide and in good condition; there are no stiles, steps or other obstructions, except getting in and out of bars, where we will be most happy to assist. If access to decent toilets is an issue then we’ll have to improvise: the only ones en route are cramped ones in bars. (top)

Payment

Can I pay you cash?

Yes, but be aware that we work on a first come, first served basis, and your reservation only exists once we have received payment in full. (top)

How do I know you’re not going to run off with my money?

We don’t pay off travel mafias, so

No financial guarantees. If we want to run off to Bognor with your money, we can. Unlike properly regulated entities like Enron and RBS, we are, however, low risk. This is because we enjoy doing this kind of stuff and have no absurd ambitions.
We don’t have to charge you more money to pay for their PR, their political lobbying, and their corporate splurges.

(top)

How does ordering work?

When you complete and send the form, we receive mail with your details.
If we can help you, we’ll agree the details with you in a short exchange of emails and then send you a link enabling you to make a secure credit card or PayPal payment. In some circumstances cash may be acceptable.
Once you pay, you will receive confirmation of your place on the walk, together with full details.

(top)

Price/cancellations

What if I cancel?

If, after booking, you decide you want to change to a different walk, please email us as soon as possible. Whilst we will endeavour to help, we cannot make any guarantees.

If you cancel a walk, we will refund your money to your PayPal account subject to the following deductions:

29+ days in advance of departure: 30%;
28-15 days: 50%;
14-8 days: 70%;
7 days or less: 90%;
on or after the departure date: 100%.

(top)

What if you cancel?

If we cancel a walk, we will refund you everything you have paid us. We regret that we cannot pay any expenses, costs or losses incurred by you as a result of any change or cancellation. (top)

Will you change the price after i’ve booked?

The price will not change once you have paid. There are no hidden extras. (top)

The walk

Tell us about your Weird Shit Guarantee

Some tours are just about buildings and people you’ve never heard about from a long time ago. We respect that, but we happen to think that the present may often be as interesting as the past, and that understanding the one may help you understand the other. So our unique Weird Shit Guarantee™ says that if you see a local being strange and want to find out more, then unless they appear to be inclined to violence we will attempt to introduce them to you and act as interpreter while you investigate and/or participate. (We do this for sane locals as well, but you get the message.) (top)

Can we get drunk?

You’ll have a much better day out (and a much smaller chance of hurting yourself) if you turn up for the walk after a decent night’s sleep. If your party is interested in liquid refreshment en route, tell us in advance so we can select a walk that enables you to do so without getting sunstroke or falling off a cliff. (top)

What do I need to bring with me?

For walks graded easy you’re probably OK with any light shoe. For the rest, consider using decent walking shoes, or boots if you prefer. Some Yorkshiremen successfully did this one in flipflops, but it’s not something we’d recommend.
A waterproof. It rains here so infrequently that you may decide to take a chance on it. Chinese shops often sell them for a couple of euros.
A sunhat.
Sunscreen. You can burn here even on cloudy days in the winter.
Water. Any safe springs are included in walk descriptions, but bring your own if you want to be sure.
Food. Picnic lunch plus things like nuts and chocolate. Barcelona’s Pakistani shops (markup ca 30%) are open Sundays.
Any medication you need, including diarrhoea tablets if you are susceptible.

Don’t bring more than you can comfortably carry. (top)

What if I have an accident?

Apart from a couple of strains and mild cases of sunstroke, we haven’t had any problems so far. However, although we may carry a basic first aid kit, we are not doctors. If you get into trouble, then the first thing we will do is to call an ambulance and/or the police. You should read our release of liability and assumption of all risk and your insurance policy details carefully. Getting a helicopter to the middle of a walk like this does not come cheap. (top)

What if I’m delayed?

It is your responsibility to get to the meeting point on time. We won’t wait for you, nor will we refund your money. For this reason we recommend that you don’t book a walk on your day of arrival or departure. (top)

What’s that flower called?

We’ve got a fairly good command of all the stuff you’re likely to ask, but if you are particularly interested in a particular field please tell us in advance. (top)

Where’s our meeting point?

Maps and photos here. (top)

Why do you use public transport?

Although serving often sparsely populated areas, public transport here is generally much better and much cheaper than in the UK or the US. Views from the train are usually good and fellow passengers are often a fertile source of entertainment. While we don’t believe everything the Reverend Gore says, we do believe that reducing fossil fuel consumption is good for us and for the planet. (top)

Will i get bitten by a dog?

Hasn’t happened yet. Sheepdogs are fine, farm dogs are usually tied up, and most dogs (including hunting dogs) will run away if you pretend to stone them–that’s how most of them are trained. Should anything happen, then bear in mind that it’s part of your guide’s job to get bitten first. (top)

Will a farmer shout “get orf me f***ing land” at us?

Hasn’t happened yet. Farmland isn’t as fenced-off, or farmers as territorial, as in the UK, and trespassing is facilitated by various laws. Most farmers love getting a chance to talk to strangers anyway. (top)

Will hunters shoot us?

Only if you look like a wild boar, and then only between October and February. (top)

Will you marry (or whatever) me?

Really nice of you to ask, but we don’t do holiday romances, and please, please don’t do what single lady traveller did and take off your clothes while the guide is having a nap. If you fancy someone else on a group trip, please ignore that sun-fuelled surge of emotion and wait till we get back to civilisation before you ask them for their phone number. Sweet little farmers we meet along the route are usually single for excellent reasons. (top)

The rest

Can I work for you?

If you’re interested in this kind of stuff, by all means get in touch and Trevor will generously let you buy him coffee and a bun. Just don’t shave your head yet. (top)

Can you tell me where’s good to stay/drink/eat?

For accommodation we always suggest you try sites like TripAdvisor. We generally avoid bars and restaurants listed in guidebooks like the plague because prices are high and food and service crap–tourists don’t come back anyway. You won’t go far wrong if you stay out of the old town and central Gracia and go into places with reasonably sane-looking and well-fed clients already installed. Lunch is 13:30-15:30 and dinner from about 21:00. Due to the relatively rapid increase in the service component of their price, tapas are often poor value for money, particularly in the districts referred to. (top)

Do you do cycling tours?

Trevor has cycled extensively in Spain and Europe, occasionally with a sousaphone and more frequently in a pink ballgown, and has been talking for a while about offering countryside gourmet bike tours. If this interests you, feel free to get in touch and bully him a bit. (top)

Where can I buy walking gear in Barcelona?

Decathlon has a good cheap range of house and other brands. (top)

Why don’t you do walks in Spanish or Catalan?

Our objective is to offer a high-quality, all-round experience to clients, so the only languages we currently always offer are English and Dutch. If you want walks in Spanish or Catalan, please talk to us. (top)

Why do you take people to cruel things like bullrunning?

Because they find it interesting. We also take folks to watch old men drinking themselves to death in bars, Brazilian ladyboys selling themselves on the streets to pay for the op, and gypsies teaching finches to sing according to Catalan contest rules. If there were public executions we’d definitely be there. We strongly disapprove of just about everything that happens in Spain, but you only live once. (top)