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/ kalebeul / category / of animals / of men and women / of the reasoning soul / of the heart /

St George’s Day massacre

San Jordi in Barcelona, and millions of females who would be perfectly happy eating hay are receiving roses from males who have problems reading a football shirt, never mind the book of 500 Catalan jokes they will get in return for their floral investment. We ecolefties disincline naturally from needlessy fucking up Lake Victoria and [...]

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Who’s afraid of the big bad Wolof?

I once read some complete nonsense by UCD prof Clarence Major, so I do kind of wonder whether he’s got any evidence for the claim (Prentiss Riddle → MSNBC) that relates hip “to the Wolof verb hepi (’to see’) or hipi (’to open one’s eyes’)”. The Peace Corps Wolof-English dictionary (PDF) lists xippi, but they [...]

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Florida, here we come, says Hefner entourage

Arnie’s put a stop to their dirty games.

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Spreading the good news

They speak (or someone speaks) Catalan in the Edinburgh branch of Harvey Nichols, according to The Scotsman. The assistant from Georgia, we are told, is called Nestan Rasmussen, which sounds pretty unlikely, and the manager claims that English is also spoken, which inclines me to disbelieve the whole story.

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Trevors@Barcelona

(Denver Post) Trevor is Dutch and has just returned to Barcelona from Holland when I spoke with him. He plays a didgeridoo, a long, hollowed-out eucalyptus tree branch. The Aborigines of Australia developed the musical instrument, which makes a beautiful, deep, throbbing sound. His first day back in mid-November has gone well, he says. The [...]

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Talking gay, the Christians are coming to get you

Life really is much better now that many Christians and some Muslims realise that chopping up and burning gays and lesbians does not generate good PR. Contemporary hate money goes on marketing campaigns based - quelle surprise! - on mumbo-jumbo:

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Man accused of assault on ludomaniac following blowjob

Some of the locals would have you believe that Barcelona is the global capital of crazy. Not at all, for, as Holmes remarked in The Adventure of the Copper Beeches, “the lowest and vilest alleys in London[, Barcelona, whatever] do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside.” [...]

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Sinful alien redheads: Roda-soques and Nathalie Borgé

Recognising an urgent need, Barcelona’s excellent Institut Français has undertaken to explain love to the Catalans (translation Googlebotted for style, steam, and speed):

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Danish privatisation update

I take it the royal palaces are next.

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Language of love

Localisation - like most developments in publishing - has benefited greatly from the needs of the porn industry. “I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men and German to my horse,” said Charles V of Spain, without, alas, going into detail. I assume, however, that his Italian will not have been the [...]

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Birthrates in the unknown world

In an article on the Madrid bombings Michael Carlin (via HispaLibertas) proclaims the doom of a Spain trapped in fear and ignorance. No reason to get excited, I would have thought, since the British have known that this boat ain’t going nowhere for at least 416 years. Nevertheless, I did enjoy Mr Carlin getting all [...]

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Right goers

Marleen Zachte quotes the results of a sex survey allegedly undertaken by German rubber and aluminium mag, Men’s Car, which shows that BMW drivers do it most and Porsche drivers least - if we are to believe the respondents. As usual the polluters did not dare ask cyclists.

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It’s love!

OK, this blog is officially enamoured of Quaderns, which as well as calling Kaleboel un fenomenal poti poti now says we’re indispensable. A brown envelope is on its way to a smoke-filled office in Andorra.

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Hetro as the metro

Metrosexual. The Americans blame French cissies and Brit hacks, but the honours go to Galician AZ Alkmaar footballer, José Fortes Rodriguez:
Some women just don’t get it. They’re not used to being turned down. They say: Go on, you want me don’t you! I say: Am I talking Chinese? I don’t find you attractive. And then [...]

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Pain-to-pain

WiFi-SM (via wondering) sounds good:
I’ve been using WiFi-SM for one month and it’s amazing ! When somebody suffers on earth, not only I know it, but I can also feel a little bit of his/her pain. I don’t feel guilty anymore and I can enjoy life without limitation. I love WiFi-SM
Here’s the blurb:

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Out like stout

More from Eurweb:

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Dirty dolls

Apparently the fine children’s illustrator Honor Appleton (1879-1951) was not such a good girl after all:

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World semen survey

There was a big discussion at choir last night about the frightful quality of semen in Barcelona. That’s not an infrequent topic of conversation, but this time it was at least partly based on quantitative evidence, namely a new comparative study by a local reproductive health institute.
The first deranged hypothesis was of a correlation between [...]

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seguing lady jessica

This is what I call a good post:

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indonesian porn conspiracy theory

Like the British vis-à-vis the French, an influential current in Indonesian opinion remains convinced that the outside world is determined to destroy it with naughtiness. Some believe that, far from being innate or Islamic, the current bout of banning can be traced back to paranoia generated by the CIA’s attempts round 1960 to bring down [...]

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Rajoy porn

John B (on John C’s comments) mentions the story doing the rounds about a video which, if it existed, might alarm Mr Rajoy’s more conservative following. What we need now is John A with a pirate version, or at least some decent fakes. (Does no one here know what Photoshop is really for?) Here, meanwhile, [...]

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home cooking

The Catalanistas are up in arms because a judge over in Torrelavega, Cantabria has denied custody of two children to the mother, now living in Lérida/Lleida, Catalonia on the grounds that this could “cause them certain disturbances,” being an autonomous community “in which important differences of cultural order with respect to Cantabria exist, particularly in [...]

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triffic

Running or cycling whilst drunk may result in unanticipated (but not always unwelcome) entanglements with trees and shrubs. Mr Kouessi A Rene of Benin has monetised this concept and become a “manufacturer of alcoholics extracted from plants,” which he seems to be exhibiting at the 9th Ghana International Trade Fair.
I used often to end up [...]

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packaging

Either condoms have suddenly become hideously expensive or there’s a missing link when The Guardian says that “British teenagers are better off … than ever before” while the BBC says they’re using crisp packets because they can’t afford the real thing. The solution is obvious - sell crisps wrapped in condoms - and the title [...]

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Apparently some ladies & gents with whom I sing when the big geezer is off doing other stuff are going to be on the telly quite a lot.

Apart from the odd bit of arranging, the barrel organ is the thing at the moment, when I get time. It’s a somewhat more lonely path, but I’m not very good at dance steps or 80s music anyway.

Kalebeul wouldn’t watch a hagiography of a faghating totalitarian fuckwit like St Paul, so it sees no reason this weekend to take cinema seats away from Barcelona’s chiliastic masses in their nostalgic lust for Hispanic dictators and good-looking saints. Paul Berman’s piece from 2004 applies. Even the regime sociologists seem to have noticed that Cataloonia has lost track of reality.

Graffiti of Camarón de la Isla and guitarist, somewhere in Barcelona, I think in Carmelo, so overlooking the place where he died:

More here.

Kabe-Otoko/Wall Man, neither human nor demon, observes the world from within walls:

Velen verzeggen Schiedam, maar sluiten dadelijk een verbond met Barcelona.” Is it about drinkers swearing by Dutch gin/jenever, only to turn to Spanish wine and brandy?


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