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Unión Progreso y Democracia
kalebeul anythingarian bubbles and troubles from the land of the sweating hun
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/ kalebeul / 2008 / 11 /

Spanglish, an important new literary language

An interesting piece by the always interesting Ilan Stavans in a new French literary mag on the doormat describes briefly how in the States, with the success of Junot Díaz’s killer novel The brief wondrous life of Oscar Wao and other stuff, Spanglish has moved from the rebellious, designed-to-be-misunderstood fringe to the mainstream. What we [...]

How a right-wing tree became a left-wing tree

Over at Crónica Verde, about the ongoing destruction by the Andalusian PSOE of the Doñana National Park. This is quite different from the abuse of natural space during the dictatorship because (all together now!) Franco was of the right, while Chaves is of the left, and the people’s friend to boot.

“Those close to the couple say they penetrate one another perfectly”

Other old media may be bolder liars, but you can always rely on ABC for the grossest cheese, as in this drooling retrowank re Felipe González’s new bit. How can you write a thing like that, even if it is a double entendre? Or am I just too much of a curious puritan?

De Juana Chaos gets something right

I thought ETA’s man on the run had lost it when he went AWOL from a Subject Nation of an Evil Empire with generally excellent weather to a Subject Nation of an Evil Empire where it never bloody stops raining, just in time for winter. But then it started snowing across northern Spain, and even [...]

Photos of egrets eating lizards

Here.

Left/right

Check out the excellent Mr Butler on how our “socialist” government is handing over, more or less for free, a substantial stake in a nominally Spanish energy business to a Russian oil business with allegedly major mafia participation in order to save a big construction company and hence rescue the domestic financial sector from overt [...]

How to use public service exams to screw your enemies

I struggle to believe that Graeme@South of Watford really believes that the PP is the only rampantly corrupt political party in Spain–maybe I just haven’t read enough of his posts–but here anyway (thanks to El Ciruco) is another nice example of PSOE trough management from their Andalusian fiefdom.
One suspects that few politicians here would [...]

“What is art in Latin countries is obscenity in the Nordic north”

JD had a bit more Time than I did and kindly sent me an article from 1930 which turns the tables on the filthy Swedes discussed this morning. It seems that towards the end of Primo de Rivera’s dictatorship the Spanish postal service issued a stamp of Goya’s unshaven maja desnuda. Time writes:
The stamps (29,800) [...]

I am burning with desire to teach the Spaniards how Nordic women can love

“This incendiary message was broadcast from Berlin to hot-blooded Spain by dazzling, blonde Brita Brager. It had a coldblooded purpose: to persuade Spaniards that signing up for work in German munitions plants would be a short cut to a life of opulent lechery.” According to this Time story from 1943, Ms Brager was the 23-year-old [...]

Bologna baloney: Barcelona student protestors are either mad or stupid

Barcelona students are occupying universities and fighting with police in a titanic life and death struggle against the prostitution of universities to Capital. Meanwhile Google UK news produces only five ghits for “Bologna Declaration“, three of which are in English, one of which concerns the accord signed in 1999 and designed to make it easier [...]

Nerd riot

IT a profession for generally peaceful, libertarian innovators sans frontières? Not in Andalusia, where they’re demonstrating with the ultimate goal of excluding those without the correct government diploma. The OECD wants flexible labour markets. Spain wants guilds. Yet I’m sure this kind of thing must happen somewhere else–Gordimer would surely have had some if there’d [...]

Macbitch in Paris

CC says that Telva says that Jaume Plensa is simply panting to design some sets for Verdi’s Macbetch. I blame Telva’s legions of copy editors this time–they get Toulouse wrong too–but there’s no reason why not: “So this is the story of Lady Macbitch and her husband. The Queen stimulates herself with the props of [...]

Hot chicks in Cornell

Geo-sensitive porn chat ads cope as well with multi-key characters as the average wanker. I doubt not that Cornell University is a chattering of cheeky chicas, but at this time of year the weather’s rather better in Cornellá, Barcelona. Not that I’m in Cornellà, but you get the picture, and if you don’t then I [...]

Fines for “incorrect” language use

As we go into recession the governments of two mini-“nations”, one with a state, the other with considerable autonomy, both worse afflicted by the downturn than might reasonably have been expected 20 years ago, have, within days of one another, rediscovered vaguely Biblical and distinctly 1930s strategies to disguise their failures of economic management: blame [...]

My favourite Barcelona menus: Ca la Flor, Secretari Coloma 10

For a long time I’ve avoided the centre of town, where the keywords are minuscule and mediocre, but even in quieter districts it’s difficult to find a decent traditional menu for a sensible price. Ca la Flor (Secretari Coloma 10, metro Joanic) is just the job: €8.50 for three generous home-cooked courses with free-flowing booze, [...]

LIFE archive photos of Barcelona

PATIO ANDALUZ, conde del asalto 120, PRESENTS SPANISH FOLKLORE if you want to see the come along BEAUTIFUL GIRL’S will sing an dance for you… slow prices. A human adboard, but no pictures of US sailors sloping off into alleys with Spanish prostitutes on the 6th Fleet’s historic visit in 1952, although Bagdad was the [...]

The Italian man who went to Malta

Increasingly huge on the net, but whose script/voice is it? (Via Josep Tarrés. More on “Funiculì, funiculà” some other day.)

Towards a noun-free Southern Europe

Tim the Translator is not happy with a diktat on non-sexist language issued by the Autonomous University of Barcelona, which includes a recommendation to use passive reflexive (which may well be distinct from reflexive passive) constructs like “it will be ruled judicially…” in order to avoid discriminatory acts like “the judge [m] will rule…”. He [...]

European single currency under threat in Chinchón, Madrid

Seven years on and Spanish barmen still haven’t learned to love those damn eros ueros:

Perhaps the shame this induces will send Trichet cap in hand to Threadneedle Street to apply to the Old Lady for admission. Perhaps not.
(Thanks to El Ciruco, who is holding out for more than a share in Google Ads)

The legal practicality of resurrection in Spain

People in Barcelona have started relating the apparently low mortality rate among Chinese residents to identity theft in the way they did in London a few years back, but we’re never going to get back to the good old days before forensic tools like DNA testing, finger printing and ubiquitous photography.
There’s an entertaining story [...]

Torremolinos, Unesco World Heritage site?

BA’s Highlife mag goes lowlife: “After 40 years of mass tourism, Torremolinos continues to evolve and, away from the coast, it’s a bustling Andalucian town. The high-rise 1950s and 1960s hotels are now admired by fashionable architects. The campaign to make it a Unesco World Heritage site begins here.” I’ve been going to Benidorm for [...]

One less mullet

A tress stress law would have finished off ETA ages back.

Obscure Spanish footie team told to get rid of Cross of St George on alternative kit

Apparently it might incite violence. Particularly, one suspects, if the directors of the taxpayer-funded Permanent Seminar on International Migration and Foreigners (”an open space for Interculturality and Human Rights“) in Aragon attend home matches of SD Huesca, whose major achievement to date was fifth place in the Second Division in the 1950-1 season. Via Miguel [...]

Pujol, cacique

It’s not exactly a secret that Catalonia is currently run by spiteful, greedy, semi-literate buffoons, but our leaders’ protest re the Economist’s description of ex-regional president Jordi Pujol as a cacique should help to convince anyone still in doubt. The Oxford English Dictionary defines cacique thus:
2. In Spain or Latin America, a man who owes [...]

Literary trifles and the world Jewish conspiracy

“Kraus was perfectly capable of using ‘feuilletonism’ without anti-Semitic undertones.”

A dangerous lack of a sense of his own absurdity

I know a quite considerable number of clever, balanced Italians, and I also believe that there are millions more out there. Tragically none of them seem to show the slightest inclination to get involved in their country’s political process, which is left to people like Berlusconi, who, while not a new class of José Antonios [...]

The (Catalan) statute of autonomy imports wild parties

And I didn’t blink. Actually in this context it means something like “No one gives a toss about the Statute” and refers to the complete absence of the Catalan government during ongoing debates, about which indeed no one gives a toss, but which are still apparently broadcast live on two out of the four screens [...]

Valdesolation

El blog Ausente links to a piece by Rinzewind (which links etc etc) about Valdeluz. This is the settlement built in the desert outside Guadalajara and equipped with a high-speed train station in what appeared to be a corrupt development deal engineered by PP bigwigs Esperanza Aguirre and Álvarez Cascos with the blessing of PSOE [...]

Tripartit

The old ones are always the best ones. In the Dresden Files the Old Ones are demons, or dark gods who ruled the world before mankind. They were apparently banished from our reality. The Fifth Law of Magic prohibits the summoning of both the Old Ones, and their foot soldiers the Walkers, or Outsiders.
In old [...]

How the man who wanted to build 75,000 houses in the mountains became a highly paid climate change advisor

Ah, he was a party man! David says that Africa stops in Murcia. It’s all relative, I guess.

Paronamic views

More modern standard Andalusian from El Ciruco:

You may fantasize about him blogging here, but someone would have to pay the shelf space for his photo collection.

Silvio Gesell disciple in Barcelona

In my mail this morning: someone calling himself Miguel Yasuki Hirota is giving a talk on complementary currencies for sustainable development at 19:30 on the 15th at Argentona 11. Gugel reveals that “Miguel” is a fan of the author of The natural economic order, of whom almost everyone’s favourite (since last month, anyway) liberal fascist [...]

Carles Miró on Baltasar Porcel

Baltasar Porcel is a Mallorcan writer who is said to believe that his Nobel is grossly overdue. I find his columns and novels unbearably egoistic and confused, and the excellent Carles Miró in a brief review of Porcel’s career and latest novel suggests that I am not alone.

Sarkotraficante

Le blog du Chì, one year ago, on TF1’s enthusiasm for the apoplectic dwarf who substituted him as opium of the peephole. Another favourite mystification, from El Ciruco:

Content theft on the web

Patricia Metola is a fine illustrator who’s had enough of people ripping off her work for profit or not. This contempt for intellectual property is an overwhelming concern for designers unable to afford lawyers, and is a major factor in limiting the availability of products online, where ripping is easy as plum pie.
I’m particularly [...]

George Formby singing Funicula

As well as dancing the old fandango, being a brigand on the mountains, etc. His father was a something from Barcelonia. Here. Can anyone make out the entire text? (This isn’t Funiculì funiculà.)

Getting round Spanish bureaucratic madness

Foreigners used to have to wheel a barrow of photocopies around half a dozen offices to be rewarded with a small laminated residency card. Then residency cards were declared obsolete, the only catch being that for most kinds of transactions they were not, Spanish practice not quite keeping up with Ayooropean theory. So foreigners had [...]

Rationalists

Josep Pla, El quadern gris, November 6 1918:
Coromina and my brother–a chemistry student–get entangled in an endless discussion about science. Coromina attacks–to my great surprise–my brother’s rooted conviction of the absolute priority of science in any system of human knowledge. Like all anti-rationalists, Coromina creates beautiful, brilliant phrases: he says, for example, that the discovery [...]

Collared dove-on-window collision

So printed off a couple of this silhouette. Isaac Meyer Marks, Fears, phobias, and rituals: “Wild turkeys of any age try to escape from anything appearing above them in dark silhouette against a lighter background and moving with a certain angular speed relative to the size of the object. Similar escape reactions occur from a [...]

“Americans see Spain as sun, bulls, flamenco”

“What is really worrying for contemporary Spain is not that it is a country of waiters. What is worrying are the habits and manners of its waiters, their training and their crossed nobility, that thick-set-blue-beard-festooned grin.” Arcadi is certainly your man if you enjoy the extremes of 100% pseudo-intellectual introverted wank or simple, straight-forward abuse.

The last time the issue came up, my dad rated Percy Shaw as one of the 20th century’s most under-appreciated inventors, on the grounds that his cat’s eye road studs have saved more lives on British roads than any other single measure.

Ojos de gato or tachas reflectantes are not (widely) used on Spanish highways, and so it was that I was almost run over in a snowstorm on Montseny on Tuesday by a Senegalese cyclist who, to avoid accidents, was navigating quite rapidly along the side of the road.

He didn’t see me because his head was bowed to avoid ingesting snow, but anyway it is apparently a well known fact in Senegal that white people are invisible in snowstorms. So the imperialist was to blame.

We shared a couple of bananas because I was just about to eat one anyway and because he still had about ten miles to go. He thought snow was a far better invention than cat’s eyes, and seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

More traditional building for Colin Davies:
traditional house building in the pyreneesReal stone is expensive and makes it hard to plug holes and to plaster, so in Spain@Disney you stick (pre)machined chunks or carpet tile-type stuff onto the concrete prefab with glue.
Chorus: Cladding imitates but also improves on reality.

Maybe someone can penetrate through my hangover and explain why Front Reusenc (sourced here), the drinking arm of lowly Reus Deportiu, identifies itself with the Union Jack, skinhead bulldogs, elbow webs, red shoelaces and braces, bovver boots, and bad beer, a collection of symbols traditionally favoured by British ultra-right racists, the National Front. (They’ve also got a Facebook group which uses the same image and whose 11 members include e-noticies fave and Elvis impersonating Reus councillor Ariel Santamaria.)

On Facebook, Trevor is billing. And cooing.


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