As a sideline (no mainline yet) I write musical arrangements, principally for big band and for choir. Problem: piracy. Tonight trade war looms with China (I’ll probably have a curry instead): a reliable source tells me that a Shanghai choir is using my version of ET Mensah’s Tea samba.

If what Lucy Patston says is true, then how come most singers in cover bands seem to find it easy to learn both lyrics and tune?

‘“They were good kids coming back from a football game. Their criminal record was almost completely clean,” said Kolan, a black 22-year-old who was part of a foursome, all of North African origin, scuffing their feet in the estate entrance.‘

Zapatero says that Catalonia isn’t a nation but that he’s going to impose award it a national identity. I guess this makes it the group equivalent of beings that have a personal identity but are not people: God, androids, dogs.

There’s a bunch of mad old guys in the neighbourhood who come out and feed the pigeons, which then crap all over benches, bicycles and toddlers. One of the locals has discovered how to make them stop. He puts a handful of salt in his pocket, lies in wait till he sees them emptying their [...]