The problem with Catalan “philologist” and “historian” Jordi Bilbeny being a 24-carrot burro is that when he occasionally says something half sensible no one listens. The conspiracy theory which rules Bilbeny’s life is that guys like Columbus and Cervantes were really Catalan, but that a powerful group destroyed all the evidence and then disappeared without [...]

Lord Frederic Hamilton, Here, There And Everywhere (1921): “The Briton contrives an ugly town in which you can live in reasonable health and comfort; the Spaniard fashions a most picturesque city in which you are extremely like to die.”

Chávez’s anti-gringo rhetoric forms the basis of his appeal, but new evidence (which may gull the gullible and disturb yet the already disturbed) suggests that the guiri–the Spanish gringo–may have actually originated in what should perhaps be renamed the República Guiriana. Here’s Gonzalo Fernández de Oviedo in Historia general y natural de las Indias (1535) [...]

The last time I was in Caracas a general parked his tank outside the national assembly building and the chamber maid died of cholera. Things haven’t improved since, and Hugo Chávez’s infant daughter has just thrown a spanner in the works of the historic Bonaire invasion project by telling him to drop everything else until [...]

I already knew that Sant Pau in Sant Pol de Mar (walk) was a damn fine restaurant (Carme Ruscalleda has just bagged her third Michelin star). What I didn’t know is that, since April Fool’s 2004, aeroplane-averse Japanese have been able to patronise a replica in Tokyo. I hereby offer to fix their English in [...]

One pragmatic reason for creating and disseminating a standard language is to increase the political punch of speakers. Still, it’s going to be a while before Aragonese (English .doc here) overtakes Turkish. (I haven’t got time to check it, but I’ll bet the Turkish claim is flawed.)

Opus is Opus Dei (“God’s Work” / “Obra de Dios”), the sect started by Barbastro priest Josemaría Escrivá de Balaguer. Popular belief in their influence–I’d say they’re Spain’s masons, except that folks are convinced the masons are also out to get them–has given rise to jokes, like the one about the well-connected bank with a [...]

“Spain (from the Latin term for Ass Pain) is a small, mountainous country in southern Yurp ruled by a gigantic animated marble statue of Generalissimo Francisco Franco and populated by dwarves, halflings and tunos.”/ “Polaquia is currently ruled by a moustache called Carod Rovira, with support from Pasqual Maragall and Malonda, the town drunk.” Check [...]

I know it’s banned in English, but it seems perfectly natural to me, just as natural as wetting one’s whistle: if it don’t rain it won’t grow, and the road to the kebab shop is awash with Blairite pub extensions.
Gordonio, a medical treatise published in 1495, is against drinking between meals but recommends they [...]

I was just curious why only the occasional guy has stuff in Spanish, and the FAQs don’t explain. I guess it’s about speaking to victims’ families, officialdom and soon-to-be ex-colleagues, most of whom will be English-speaking. Sometimes the English is so strange (“somebody find Void”, “Into your hands Oh Lord, I commence my spirit”) that [...]

Barcelona Council wants to ban the caganer.

In I always get my sin, a new book by ex-Heineken boss, Maarten Rijkens (via Onze Taal) . Natashka over at Dunglish.nl has more. Is Dunglish funnier than Spanglish because Dutch and English are so close or because Dutch speakers are happier on thin ice?

The Dutch Association Against Swearing is about to go bankrupt.

Des von Bladet links to the story of Anna and Ulf Ström, who have cycled all the way from sunny Sweden to snappy Spain and say that poor Spanish road-planning has sometimes forced them to cycle on motorways. Contractors are actually obliged to build service roads along at least one side of motorways if there [...]

Giving stuff away to illegals as a commercial gimmick is a terrible thing to do. When I meet illegals crossing from France, I ask them whether they’ve got cash and want to go to a bar, and if the answer’s no I push them into a ravine. It’s the capitalist way, and they’ve got to [...]

Litus posted a little mood piece a year ago on his blog. Antoni Ibàñez / TdQ, “writer”, who’s on Litus blogroll, copied it, published it in a book, and went round reciting it and telling the world how happy he was with his prize (everyone gets prizes here). The fragment has disappeared from his site [...]

Mouse Hunter has another useful neologism: tun, as in “stay tunned”. It refers to the large casks used to hold beverages and is the alcoholic sibling of “stay cool”. (I don’t know what getting tunned is like in Tunisia, but the last time I tried it that side of the water I didn’t get [...]

“Nannies make your kids speak funny” (via LanguageNews)

(It’s still here, and I use it, still being transitional.) The feed from Après moi le deluge has stopped displaying, and I don’t know why. I scraped Language Hat, because he’d started putting everything in the title field. Or something. If he doesn’t like it, I’ll sue him. Try scraping JA Millán’s and his code [...]

That’ll teach them to eat their greens, sez Heartless Harry from next-door. (Story)