Catalan cocks

Since I’m arsing around this morning, here’s some more chicken news. There’s a good story developing up in a small village near Figueres at the moment, where Adela Sánchez has been put on trial accused of murdering Mercè Catalán’s rooster, Matildo. Adela and her daughter, Paqui, had previously sat up at night playing the trumpet and beating the partition walls because Matildo stopped them sleeping. This may not have got rid of their insomnia, for one terrible morning Matildo was found dead, probably strangled, and the constabulary were called. Matildo–still stashed away in Mercè’s freezer–is now to be autopsied to find out how he died and thus whether an ecological crime has been committed. For Mercè claims that, far from being an ordinary pain-in-the-posterior-end, Matildo belonged to an endangered species, Empordan Chicken, and killing Empordan Chicken carries a custodial sentence. Mercè meanwhile fears for her ecological chicken business, since the ladies apparently won’t take any old etc etc

There is far too much of this kind of thing. One of most notorious political assassinations of the 80s was allegedly ordered by Primitivo Forastero (”primitive stranger”), División Azul volunteer for Hitler and subsequently–why not?!–Catalan nationalist mayor of a small village down in the Ebro delta. Mayor Forastero had already succeeded in his fiendish project to replace street names with numbers and, according to survivors, felt encouraged to order the execution of life-long republican Ignasi Subirats’s cockerel, which had been bothering one of the mayor’s mates. This is where accounts begin to diverge, because some say that the mayor sent the village policeman to do his dirty work, and that Subirats–sick of the complaints–consented to Mrs Copper doing the dirty deed, while others say that Subirats got the police to hunt down and kill his roaming rooster, with nary a cockle-doodle-doo in farewell.

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