Blair in Scotland

The British Prime Minister, Tony Blair is being shown around an Edinburgh hospital. Towards the end of his visit, he is shown into a ward with a number of people with no obvious signs of injury. He goes to greet the first patient and the chap replies rather solemnly:

“Fair fa’ your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain e’ the puddin’ race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o’a grace as lang’s my arm.”

Tony, being somewhat confused grins and moves on to the next patient and greets him. He replies with similar solemnity:

“Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit”

The third starts rattling off as follows:

“Wee sleekit, cow’rin, tim’rous beastie,
O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an chase thee, wi murdering pattle!”

Tony turns to the doctor accompanying him and asks “What sort of ward is this - a mental ward? “No,” replies the doctor, “It’s the Serious Burns unit!”